Pleading and Bleeding

Father, I am so small, and you are so great. I am weak and terrible. There is nothing I deserve except condemnation. But through your Son you chose to love me.

God I need you. Here, in the back room,in a dark place I need you. Please show me your mercy and change my heart.I'm blinded by selfishness, pride, and despair.

I'm so afraid I dismissed your blessing long ago. And I'm afraid that, in my desperation to pick up the pieces of the crown you gave me, I'll break it again. Father, my hands shake and my heart aches. Please sanctify me, cleanse my mind of doubt and fear. Please, as an act of your mercy, place your blind love in me, give me clarity of thought, wisdom to understand this season, and the courage and strength to act in your will for my life. Please save me from what I've become, and make me like you. Please bless me with purpose. But all things only according to your will. Be glorified through me.

Wow

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/taste-see-articles/the-morning-i-heard-the-voice-of-god

A short message from Pastor John Piper on hearing the voice of God/hearing God speak.

Words of a Heart

Father, please forgive me. I have found that I can do no good thing without your guiding hand. No good thing has ever come from this mouth that was given to me, except what was inspired by you. No great work was ever done by these hands, which I fail to stay, except by your will. You, my God, are holy, benevolent, and just. Nothing is hidden from you. I cannot claim anything other than guilt. In my foolishness I have broken every one of your commandments, not one has been spared. My transgressions are as numerous as the stars in the sky.

You knew all these things before I was. You knew, and know, me.

You, oh God, chose me. You chose to atone for my condemnation. You made a way for me to be with you. You chose to love me. You've sought after me as one of your beloved. When, at last, my heart embraced you, you continued to pursue me. Truly, there is nothing that could ever separate me from your love. You are my hope, my love, my life. Everything I have is what you've given to me. All I've ever been is yours. I know I cannot do anything without you, but I can do anything with you. With this mustard seed faith, I choose to glorify you.

-Archer

The Desires of your heart vs. God's Will

This was a letter to my brother. He's been feeling down. I feel like I know what he's feeling because in some ways he sounds like I did, and sometimes do. So here you go, some real brotherly love - eat your heart out Philadelphia.

Yea, sometimes life kinda sucks. Here's a little something that makes me feel better when I feel like that...

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-14

1 "There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him."


The whole idea behind this is that God is working all things in your life ultimately to work on you, bring you closer to him, and ultimately to glorify himself. I think that 13 really nails the problem: That everyone may.. find satisfaction in all his toil - this is the gift of God.

I can tell you, this is the hardest thing I've found to learn yet: to find satisfaction in where you are, and who you are; not in where you think you're going. As it turns out, all things happen for a reason. Even a break up with a girl that at one point you were sure you were gonna marry, 3 switches in career choices, and 3+ months of unemployment ultimately lead to God's glory and something better that God has in store for you.

Since I'm sharing wisdom I've discovered I'll tell ya an even bigger thing that took me a long time to figure out.. If you wanna know the will of God for your life Rule #1: read the Bible. It's cliche to hear it, sometimes terribly boring to do it, and if it seems like you're not getting anything out of it then you're probably not. And you should figure out how to fix that. But the honest truth is that if you're truly seeking after God, like really putting forth an effort, he transforms the desires of your heart to his desires for you. Romans 8:5 & Romans 12:1-2

I'm not saying all your current dreams will come true, but you might find that those things didn't really have much value, and new things will come to replace them. And, if you've ever asked God to give you more interest in it, he'll do that too, but he's not about to turn you into his little disciple puppet. The relationship thing comes from you being willing to act out what you believe.

P.S. Romans 12:1 says to offer your body as a living sacrifice.. the thing about living sacrifices is they have a tendency to step away from being the offering. Your job is to keep yourself in that place and be satisfied with it.

-Archer

Fill me?

The reason/epitome of selfishness isn't the unwillingness to give, nor disdain for a fellow human being. It's the manifestation of emptiness; a need to fill oneself. Likewise, love is the movement to fill another, but only when in the interest of the other. Therefore, love is not a crutch to selfishness. But by the grace of God, it's the cure.

-Archer

Forever.

That's how long it seems it's been since I last wrote on here. For the past few months life has been blurring by me in a mad dash to the present, and I feel restless.

I was reminded very recently that I'm still in the midst of a time of preparation, but I don't feel prepared. I look behind me, only for a moment because it's all I can stand, and I see barren battle grounds covered mostly with my own blood. The product of my mistakes, my failures, and missed opportunities. So my walk has been far from graceful, if I were being honest I don't believe it's even near as bad as it could have been. Then again, the contrast of perfection is a harsh one and regrets are better abandoned initially rather than chained to your wrist. I'm not who I was. Something I've told myself more times than I care to count.

I'm uncomfortable, and restless. Addiction has been reaching out again, grasping for my throat. Never again. If there's one thing I've learned it's that I don't want to be there again. Not even a dog will return for a second kick.

Father, I'm impatient. Calm my restlessness, bring me to renewal in my trust in you. You alone know the plans you have for me. Continue to refine your servant, and place him strategically for your glory, and the recovery of the lost. Just like Peter, I want to walk on the water. Forgive me for looking away. Give me your eyes so I can see the things you see, both in myself and in others. Bring balance, or at the very least a headstrong, wind at my back sprint toward you. Stop me in my tracks from passing by your work. Strengthen me for the journey ahead. My cross. Your life. Your timing. Our love.

-Archer

The Archer's Prayer

God help me to see the things in others and in myself, that you've been trying to tell us you see for so many years. Help me to remember that this life is a process, that I cannot suddenly be exactly what you've created me to be, but that everyday presents new challenges and that the only way I will ever succeed is to rely on you. Help me to truly know what it means to rely on you.

Grant me the grace for others that you've given me, just as you first loved me and suddenly I was able to love. Father I know that my worth is not defined by the things that I do, but by the sacrifice of your Son and by the love and intentions that you had for me even before the beginnings of time.

Help me to love the unloved, to serve the lowest, the sick, the hurting. Open my eyes to the things that matter, the things in the hearts of the people I pass everyday. Father it took a tragedy for me to be aware of the pains that happen behind closed doors and tired eyes. Grant me your eyes, that they would pierce the hearts of this generation so that I may see their needs and bring them to you.

Help me to remember that our relationship is not dependent on the level of success I'm having against the blemishes I inherited from my father. Remind me every day that even on my worst day I am RIGHTEOUS through your Son. Make your unconditional love a blatant and undeniable truth from which I can draw all security.

Show me, your servant, in your own time each step along the path you've set for me. Grant me patience to wait for your divine timing, and wisdom to see each step and to know each word that you would direct.

Father I love you, sometimes it's the only thing I do right, but I know that that's exactly what you meant for me to do. May my life ever be a song so pleasing to you.

-Archer