Self-definition, refinition, and the facts of life...

Recently it's been brought to my attention that - as obvious as it sounds - one of the themes of life is growth. And it seems that growth comes mostly from mistakes. It simply astonishes me sometimes at what I do. Occasionally I'll do something that I know is wrong, and in fact is rather out of character for who I like to think I am, or at least am striving to be.

And what about our effects on each other.

Picture this: I'm hanging out in a small group of people, say at a local organization's free dinner in a feeble attempt to convince college people to join, when in fact everyone knows they come for the free food. At any rate, in the process of conversation I have a sudden realization of a witty remark, or something that I think will be funny, and so I say it. Almost instantaneously realizing that I have just embarrassed, or belittled someone else and at a gain of nothing. Yes I like it when people think I'm funny, but there's little gain when you think about the fact that if I hadn't said anything the conversation would go on without someone else feeling suddenly wronged, unaccepted, embarrassed, uncomfortable, et al.

This whole concept makes me think of Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

That says two different things to me. We can use each other to build ourselves up, and in the process build up each other. We can become great with each other. But at the same time that speaks to me about the things that are said to each other. If I hurt you won't that in turn sharpen you to hurt someone else?

What I'm really trying to say is that it's amazing how choice affects EVERYTHING. Life is choice. You hear it all the time, but it's one of those things that just hits you one day while you're driving along. "Hey, when I do something.. it has an effect on myself and/or someone else.. weird."

It's like a little rule about life that no one makes sure you understand until you've been practicing it for a while. All the while that you're doing things, you're making yourself. You're deciding who/what you are. It's seems logical to me then that you would have a list of things that you want to be, and from that you would base your decisions. For instance, I want to be someone that loves, preferably unconditionally but lets just get the love part down first. Also, I want to be honest, strong, a shoulder to cry on, someone to rely on, pure, the list goes on. So then what is this thing that keeps me from taking advantage of moments in which I can practice exactly what I want to be?

Behold, the human condition. There are a lot of labels for it, laziness, self-centeredness, fallacy, immaturity, passivity. However, it's ALL choice. Realize that you decide what you do, or in some cases what you don't do and it has an effect. For instance, if you practice wickedness, or foul deeds, w/e, you're training yourself to be just that. Not to mention you're further empowering those around you to do the same.

So then... Grow... Start being who you want to be, realize you'll fail along the way, but you decide who you're going to be. I'll be praying for you along the way.

-Archer